Friday, February 28, 2014

What a Month!

Oof! February was one roller coaster of a month! I went from the highs of going on vacation to the lows of... well, a lot of stuff, and a lot of craziness in between! And today was a day to beat them all. I can't even pinpoint what exactly went wrong today. It was a lot of little things that just had me feeling in a low mood, but I had plans for tonight that I was really excited about until the day started pecking at that, too.

I was supposed to be going to a worship CD recording at one of our church campuses. Originally it was going to be an outing for our small group. One by one people started backing out until it was just going to be me and Amy. Not that I have a problem with that. Amy and I have had an adventure or two on our own and it's high time we through some Jesus adventures in there, too. Until she got a last minute notice that she needed to drive her stepson halfway across the state this evening. If you're unaware, Tennessee is kind of a long state. Needless to say, she was out. At that point I was almost ready to throw in the towel and decide not to go, but I had invited a girl who was interested in joining our small group and she seemed really excited about going. Plus I had already asked Greg about going and he has really been wanting to go see more live music. Okay, okay, we're going!

Oh em gee oh es aytch (OMGOSH), I am so glad I didn't talk myself out of going! I had a fabulous time singing my heart out and worshiping with a few hundred other believers. It. Was. Awesome. I sang, I cried, I danced, I prayed... I feel refreshed! The feeling of being with so many other believers singing and praising together was just amazing. I can't wait til the CD is ready for purchase. I couldn't even tell you my favorite song we sang because I loved them all. Although, they did a mix of one with Can't Hold Us by Macklemore and I was quite excited. And the girl interested in joining our small group got to see what is probably the closest rendition of the "real" me that anyone has seen in a long time. God bless her if she decides to come to group!

Anyway, since I didn't even try to record any of tonight's concert, I will leave you with a song that all ways makes me happy. They play this on Air1 on Monday afternoons, saying that it's impossible to be mad and listen to this song. Well, I don't know if it's impossible, but it does always make me dance... and I don't typically like this type of music! Have a great day!

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Take 2

Yesterday I downloaded the Blogger app to my phone I wrote a long lovely post about some personal struggles and my future goals. When I had just finished typing and was proof reading before posting my phone rang. And of course the app didn't have auto-save, so I lost the whole post. I was so bummed! And now I don't even remember exactly what I said. So, I'll just fill you in on what's going on. 

Yesterday I had sort of a mini-meltdown... Ok, if you ask G, not so mini. I got home from a stressful day at work and when I went to change out of my uniform I realized that I only have one pair of jeans that fit. I'm sorry, what? I don't really have many "regular" clothes anyway, so realizing that I only have one pair of non-workout pants was kind of devastating. And realizing that they don't fit because I gained weight was doubly devastating. That's the problem when your daily attire consists of yoga pants. Its easy not to notice your expanding waist. 

I will take full responsibility for my weight gain. I mean, who else could I blame? My eating habits have been absolutely terrible lately and I have not tracked my food regularly since sometime last summer. And over the past few months I have become more and more miserable at work... and since I work at my gym, I couldn't stomach the thought of going when I didn't have to be there. Needless to say that hasn't helped my waistline. 

Last night I decided that today would be Day 1 of calorie counting (again). And I weighed myself for the first time in months. I wasn't too happy with myself, weighing in at 223.8. I had gotten down to 201! It hurt my heart. But I did it before and I can do it again. At least I caught myself before I got back up to 250! Today I just focused on counting everything I ate. I want to start meal planning and making sure that I am eating enough of the right kinds of foods (lean proteins, fruits/veggies, etc.), but that will have to wait until I get my next paycheck and can buy the appropriate stuff. Today was just about the accountability of tracking everything that went into my mouth. It was a bit annoying having to stop to record everything I ate, but I knew if I didn't do it I wouldn't remember at the end of the day. I didn't do too bad. As a matter of fact I stayed well under "budget," even though hormones* were making me feel slightly hollow.

As for working out... I'm working on it. I'm trying to get G to take up an activity with me. He already works out 4-5 days a week and plays in a tennis league. He's caught between being open to the idea and figuring out when the heck would we fit it in. He is friends with the couple that owns one of the local dance studios, Dance Tonight, so I thought I might try to get him to start there. They have newcomer classes on Friday nights and a dance party afterward to show off/practice the moves you just learned. I think even if we can do that once a month it will help me and benefit us a couple (after 5 years of the same dates, we need to freshen things up a bit). Win-win! And it might spur me on to try other activities I hadn't considered before. I just need to so something! 

Anyway, right now what I need to do is sleep! That's important to a healthy diet, too, right??




*That would explain the not-so-mini-meltdown...

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Stressed Fractured Heart

That may seem melodramatic, but it's not I tell you! Seriously though,  I just spent 20 minutes writing  a blog update on my phone... then G called and it all disappeared. It didn't help that my post was kind of a venting about my current stress level, and then disappeared like so much vapor.

Oh well,  I can write it again. Just not tonight.
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