Monday, March 4, 2013

Pity Party

This weekend was a little rough. I didn't really sleep well through most of last week, so by the time Saturday rolled around I felt worn out. Especially since I had to work at 6am Saturday morning. Although, I was kind of glad I had to got up that early. It snowed Friday night/Saturday morning, and when I left for work there was this cool snow and mist thing going on. I tried to take a picture of it, but seeing as it was pre-dawn I didn't get what I wanted. It did turn out pretty cool though.
The circle is from Instagram, but that's pretty much how it looked on my camera. I had never seen mist and snow before. Anyway, the snow didn't last long. Most of it was gone by the time the sun came up. We kept having little snow showers off and on all day, but it never stuck.

Greg and I went to dinner and to see Jack the Giant Slayer that night. I was an emotional wreck (I think because of the lack of sleep) and somehow started feeling like Greg was only taking me out to dinner so I would shut up about my promotion. That in itself is a dumb thought because we go out to dinner and a movie almost every single weekend, some times more than once in a weekend. 

Sunday was a hard day. I don't really know why exactly, but I felt like everyone was mad at me and thought I was a hateful hag. I had decided I was going to spend my entire day in bed watching Netflix and Hulu. I even passed on going to see Hannah and Olivia at the Women's Today Expo with Amy! I was in total pity party mode. Luckily, Amy is my best friend and got me this:
Jen! Sorry we missed you! xo Olivia Ward
Hi Jen! Hannah Curlee
I spent most of the day crying and hashing things out with Greg (not in a bad way). I was feeling better that evening. Sometimes I think I just need to cry it out.

I get in these moods where I'm convinced that no one likes me or wants to be around me. I think I'm useless, unwanted, and unneeded. Have I ever mentioned I have deep seeded abandonment issues? Every once in a while they come rear their ugly head. Usually when things aren't going right (broken TV and phone) or life is not living up to my expectations (my promotion not being computer official at work). I feel like that's how the devil tries to get at me. He knows I'm talented, smart, and fun to be around, but if he can make me think I'm not then he has me.

Have I ever mentioned that I think Satan is a loser? Actually, if you've read the book, you know he is. ;-) Anyway, when he starts trying to get under my skin, I start singing. This is one of my favorites at the moment...

I heard this song at Winter Jam and fell in love with it. I need to memorize it so I can sing it all the time. It's hard to throw a pity party when you're rocking out!

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